Azam tak tercapai

In 2013 berazam nak buat setahun satu entry... Tapi dah missed untuk 2015 😔😔😔 tu je nak cakap....

Life must go on.....

On 8^th March 2014, we were shocked by the disappearance of Malaysian Airline MH370.  It took everyone attention and heart, not only to the family and friends, but to all ‘human’ around the world. As ‘human’, even no one was related to me on that plane; somehow it affected me especially because it was close to home, Malaysia.

On 17^th July 2014, we were shocked again by the shooting of Malaysian Airline MH17. What ever happen to the plane, it was something unimaginable. I don’t even want to imagine how the victims felt the moment the plane was shot down. Due to this, people lost their sons, daughters, husband, wife, family & friends.

Almost all ‘human’ around the world were affected by this tragedy. Another tragic event occurred to my home, Malaysia. However, this tragedy affected me more. My dear cousin lost a husband who she married almost 3 years ago; my nephew lost his father that he just knew 9 months ago.  Ahmad Hakimi Hanapi, a good son, a great husband and a loving father. A quiet man, but was a funny person once he speak.

After all the issues and great effort by the related authorities, he was brought home. On 22^nd August 2014, he was finally home together with 19 others who he spent his 36 days in a way that he never thought he would be. No one would.

“National mourning”, as what it was declared by the government. People have different thoughts on how it should or should not be. People may have different opinion; people may have different way to handle this. However, what he and the rest of the victims went through 36 days after the crash, they deserved to be treated in the highest respect. As ‘human’, we should not judge.

I was touched to read all the thoughts & attentions were given to all the family members and friends. Especially for my 2 loved ones, Asmaa’ & Abderrahman. Even though they never knew each other, they lived way part from our home, they were from different races and believes, their courage words and prayers can be felt close to their heart, to my heart. Thank you ‘humans’. 

We share their pain & sorrow when they were highlighted on the news. What about when there’s new sensational news? What about after 10 to 20 years or many years to come? What will happen to them? Do we care?

Life must go on. A loss is a loss. No matter how tragic the loss, it was painful. Don’t judge them.

I have experienced the loss almost 3 years ago. The right very morning I was talking to my mom and share our plan for a vacation the coming weekend, on that evening I witnessed her taking her last breath. It was painful, my heart crushed into pieces as I never thought she will left me this soon. At first, I don’t know how and where to start. I lost my friend, my love, my mom. When I start to catch up, there goes, the dramas & soap operas started. During my prayers, I always asked Allah, why I need to bare this? Why is this happening to me? Why me? . As the days goes by, I started to realize and was thankful to Allah for that experience. That experience, thought me more about life and how to manage life through difficulties. You are your strength. People may not always be around you, so you need yourself to keep your life going on.

Asmaa’, a strong and a self-independent woman, lost her mother at age of 15 years old due to cancer. She has been through ups and downs and experienced many dramas and soap operas as many of us did. What is life without dramas and soap operas? She managed to catch up and live her life. I am myself was envy when she was able to get what most of people still struggling to get. Now, she has to go through the painful part again. Before this she may not need to think about anyone else, but now, she has a child to raise.  Alhamdulillah, she was able to handle this painful experience. I was adored how strong she was handling this painful experience. Abderrahman was so lucky to have her as a mother.  I am not sure, if I were in her shoes, am I that strong? Such at young age, to lose a husband due to tragic incident, was something unimaginable.

Dear Asmaa,

I hope you are strong, and always be. I hope and pray that you don’t need to go through any dramas or soap operas after this. I am confident that you will move on and catch up real soon. But anyhow, this is life. People may judge sometimes, but its okay, you know what is best for you and Abderrahman. It’s okay to break down in tears when you miss him. As a ‘human’ and a woman, we are born to be more sensitive. But don’t worry, you will find your strength to wipe that tears.

 We can promise you that we will try our very best to be with you and Abderrahman in the time you need us for love and support. But, if we failed, you must always stay strong and move on. Always remember what Kimi said to you, “Allah sentiasa bersama orang yang sabar “.

Dear Abderrahman,

You may not understand what you saw or what you heard. But I know, you can feel. You can feel what your mother going through, what everyone in the family going through. I know you really miss your dad and try to find him by now. But, you should know, Allah loves him more than we do. Allah may gave you a short period to be with him, but you should always know, your dad was a great man and he loves you so much. Even he is not here with you, Allah will take care of you for him. Everyone is hoping and praying that Allah will you give strength and a great life ahead.

However, there will not always be a rainbow or sunshine in life. There will be rainy days or even a tornado. How difficult or painful life you need to go through, you must always remember, Allah will always be with you. You shall stay strong and move on. 

You are the strength for your mom. Please grow well and becoming a great man like your dad. Make both of them proud.

Azam tahun baru: Setahun satu entry

Last entry September 2012...wow....wow.....mungkin nak berazam setahun satu entry mungkin...

Macam2 berlaku dalam masa setahun....dari bertukar kuda ke bertukar 2 status....eh macam2lah...

2 years ago...around this date....In the office duk kusyuk draft satu entry berkaitan "Wedding"... maksud perkahwinan from my point of view....dekat 2 3 perenggan la dah draft (Yes kat office buat kerja was my part time job...buat kerja lagha is my main job)...but unfortunately....something happen to my life...and I abandoned it and deleted it on my last day in Motorola. Now, takda intention to publish an entry bout it...dia pergi bersama inspirasi.....


Ignoring your feelings on your lost does not mean that you forget how much the lost affected your life. It actually help you to become more stronger to fight that feelings and to move on.

Tak nangis tak bermakna tak rindu. Tak sebut tak bermakna dah lupa.

Al-fatihah buat mama tercinta....you're always in my heart. 

I've posted this photo before. But I love this photo so much.